When baby Klaus was born he was breathing unusually shallow and fast. They thought some skin to skin would help him regulate his breathing, so for the first hour that's what we did. They kept checking his respiratory rate (RR) but it wasn't normalizing. Sean briefly held our baby for the first time then he wheeled Klaus to the nursery with the nurses. I was left in the delivery room for a while then was able to move to our awesome recovery room. I wasn't really sure what was going on with our baby so I waited for Sean to find me in our new room.
When Sean arrived he told me that since Klaus' RR was still too high, he had been given an IV and they had done an x-ray. We went in to the nursery and I got to see Klaus. The nurses decided while we were there that he needed to be admitted into the NICU. (Even now I can smell the sterile scent of that place.)
During this time we decided not to share with too many people what was happening with our baby Klaus. I figured that it wasn't something I should share with too many people until I had figured out how I was going to cope with everything. Once we did share, I was so grateful we did-- I could feel the blessings pouring in of everyone praying for us. What a lesson!
Klaus didn't have the energy to breastfeed and the doctors decided to put him on a TPN (basically gatorade for babies) and a lipid solution. He started receiving a series of antibiotics since his chest x-rays determined some inflammation. Since his RR was high, they put him on a high flow of oxygen. He also received an oral gastric tube for ventilation.
We understood that Klaus' situation could be a lot worse but it was heartbreaking seeing our precious boy hooked up to all of these beeping monitors with tubes everywhere.
Still though, he was the cutest little newborn I had ever seen. Mother bragging rights. :)
At this point, the doctor told us to expect him to be in the NICU for a week.
I had started pumping since baby Klaus wasn't able to breastfeed. I would wake up during the night every 3 hours to pump. Breastfeeding was extremely important to me and I wanted to make sure to establish my supply. After my early morning pumping session while still in the hospital, I would walk down to the NICU and spend some precious mommy-son time with him.
Sunday night, we were able to briefly hold him. It was wonderful! Being new parents we were just sure that we were going to break him. We didn't. :)
At this point, he was determined to have congenital pneumonia. It was a bit of a relief to have a diagnosis-- something solid to grasp.
Family was able to visit us in the hospital but no one except my mom and little brother were able to see Klaus in the NICU. The NICU had high restrictions on its visitors and I was grateful for their caution.
The afternoon I was discharged, Klaus' doctor decided to insert a PICC line into his vein. His IV was a little too rough on his tiny arm.
It was hard to leave the little guy. No fun my friends.
My mom flew into town the day after Klaus was born. She stocked our fridge and cupboards and she took on the challenge of making sure Sean and I were eating. (She even bought us sparkling cider for the night Klaus would come home.)
Tuesday afternoon Klaus was cleared to try his hand at breastfeeding. He was a champ! Such a natural. It was a beautiful tender mercy. Since his energy was still down he was not able to take all his feedings by breast or bottle. The nurses would lavage some of his meals. (Lavage = feedings through a tube.)
They continually dropped the flow of oxygen. By Thursday, he was down to 1 LPM (he had started at a 6). He was doing well monitoring his body temp so they moved him from his incubator to a regular bassinet.
I was spending my entire days at the hospital. I wanted to be available to Klaus whenever he needed me for feedings. My mom would get me to the hospital by 8 am and Sean would take me home around 1 am. I definitely learned the strength of a mother's love early on. Mom would chill with me at the NICU while Sean was at work and take me to eat and run errands while the baby slept. At this point, I was pretty much living at the hospital.
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| Klaus' first time with a onesie on. |
The nurses had taken out his gastric tube on Thursday since his feedings were going so well but it was back in by Friday night. It definitely felt like we had taken a few steps back. He was losing energy and wasn't progressing. I cried for our sweet baby. I so badly wanted him to be better.
At this point, Klaus had been in the NICU for a week-- the length of time we were told to expect.
Friday night, Sean and I moved back into the hospital. Literally. We lived at the hospital. The surgical floor to be exact. The nurses noticed how much time I was spending at the NICU and advocated for me to be a boarder at the hospital. This was great news-- I could do night feedings with Klaus and take naps during the day while Klaus napped. I named my night trips down to the NICU "the Zombie Walk". Our room was on the 3rd floor and the NICU was on the 1st floor on the other side of the hospital so half the trip down my eyes were completely shut. That quiet time at night in the NICU with Klaus was wonderful. Even though he wasn't at home with us cuddling on the couch through a Netflix series, I felt like we were really bonding.
Monday morning, Klaus and I had an appointment with an occupational therapist, whose specialty was breastfeeding. Klaus ate perfectly. It really lifted my spirits knowing our baby was getting his energy up enough to eat enough. But as the day went on, he was eating less and less from me and the nurses would have to lavage the rest of his meal. By 11 pm, he ate for 40 minutes and only got 16 g from me (about half an ounce). I pumped after his meal and didn't get anything. My milk supply had just about depleted. I called one of my sisters bawling hysterically. Klaus had worked so hard to get food and had exerted so much energy trying to eat and I didn't have enough to give him. For all you breastfeeding mothers out there you can imagine my despair. I figured I needed a plan. So I determined I would bottle feed Klaus and then pump after each feeding. The lactation specialist on site happened to be Klaus' NICU nurse that next day. I told her my situation and she put on an aggressive dosage of fenugreek-- a medicinal seed for boosting your supply. My mom picked some up on her way to the hospital and I started it immediately. Growing up, whenever anyone would ask what I wanted to be when I grew up the answer was always the same: a mom. And though I was already a mom to this sweet little boy, it was always my expectations to breastfeed. I felt like a bit of a failure not being able to directly feed him but I had a plan and had faith and hope in the future.
By Wednesday, Klaus had gotten above his birth weight and I was pumping almost 2 ounces after each bottle feeding. Since Klaus was regaining strength, the NP decided to try him on the type of oxygen he would use if he needed to go home with it. It was fun seeing his stall get less and less crowded with monitors and oxygen tanks.
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| Before/After |
That afternoon, Sean and I made our way down to the NICU and noticed something was different-- Klaus didn't have ANY oxygen hooked up to him. I remember trying to frantically take a picture and send it to my family with the caption, "Notice anything different?" (NICUs have terrible reception fyi.)
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| "Notice anything different?" |
The nurse noticed Klaus was doing extremely well with the low flow of oxygen so she talked to the NP and he was taken off. We did feedings with a low flow of oxygen (eating is like exercising for little ones) but soon enough he didn't seem to need that either.
Wednesday night, we moved into one of the rooms in the NICU. I no longer needed to do the zombie walk from the surgical floor. It was awesome.
Thursday morning, the NP told me I could take Klaus into the room with me! I rushed back to my room, took a shower, brought that baby into the room with me, took him out of his crib and cuddled on the bed! He still had monitors on him that his nurse was watching from outside but I couldn't see them. It was nerve-racking and heaven all at once! I FaceTimed family members so they could meet my sweet baby and enjoyed some quiet time with just the two of us. My mom came and hung out with me while Sean was at work -- life seemed pretty normal in that NICU "hotel" room. Klaus spent the night with us and Friday evening he came home!
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| Celebrating baby Klaus' homecoming! |
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